Hello! 👋
Welcome to my website! Please allow me to introduce you to my family. My husband Miles and I are the parents of 4 energetic children ages 10,9, 6, and 1. We are also soon-to-be adoptive parents of 3 siblings from Haiti. We have been matched and approved, and we anticipate welcoming home 10 year-old twins–a boy and a girl–and a 5 year-old little boy by mid-2024! This is an exciting and nerve-wracking time in our lives. As I think about bringing these children home, one of my greatest wishes for my family is to fuse together in love into an unbreakable unit. That is why this super cool 😎 website is named SIBLING FUSION. I want the kind of unity for my kids that is like separate metals combined into one piece by a powerful bond. It is my hope that we can strengthen that family unity for one another here! I’m excited to be embarking on this journey with you!
The Essential Work of Raising Children
One of my favorite quotes by Harold B. Lee is, “The most important work you and I will ever do will be within the walls of our own homes.” I believe this and strive to make my contributions at home my greatest priority. Raising children is critical work and I am willing to give my heart and time to it. Being a mom has also been surprisingly stretching. 11 years in and I find that I am continually improving myself or my family systems to help the family succeed. I want to share a story that illustrates one of those soul-stretching times.
When my first child (a 9 lb 2 oz vibrant little boy) was only a few weeks old, I found myself feeling guilty about the sadness, grief, and resentment I was experiencing (The mom I am now would say “I offer myself grace. This is the biggest life shift I have EVER experienced. It will get better and I am doing so well.”). I was confused at how I could love this child with my whole soul and yet not be filled with constant gratitude and happiness. I expressed my feelings to my parents and my dad replied with a phrase that I’ve remembered since. He said to me,
“Things that are wonderful are often hard.”
Ahh. The relief of that statement even now. Our lives with our spouses and kids and the myriad of things we need to take care of can be both wonderful AND hard.
Since then I’ve met short seasons of anxiety and postpartum depression, and long seasons (ok the whole time) of ‘how do I parent these wild things?’ or ‘how will we possibly do this?’ I now accept that being the mother God needs me to be is going to expand my capacity for several years to come. I anticipate never-before-experienced challenges as we welcome internationally adopted children into our family. These beautiful kids have lived for several years in harsh conditions and are going to go through a dramatic life shift as they leave the homeland they revere. They will need our help, patience, know-how, and love.
We can learn how to do this
While I am certain of obstacles in our path, I am more certain that we can succeed. The fear of not knowing how to accomplish something doesn’t preclude a person or family’s decision to move ahead when they know it’s right (can I get an amen? 😄) Adoption comes with a host of potential difficulties and is generally a novel experience for parents. From paperwork to financial commitments to building attachment, there’s a lot to figure out, and siblings don’t always live together easily even when they share the same genetics! My big picture for Sibling Fusion is that it can help all of us with the varied needs, personalities, and situations of every family member, and that it can be a fun place on the web to hang out. I hope this website can be a helpful resource in understanding what adoption entails, where to find support, and how to meet the challenges you may face. To watch a little more about our family’s adoption journey, and how we ended up matched with 3 kids 😱, see our video below.
If you have adopted children or are considering adoption (or are a birth mom or an adoptee! So much love to you!), I hope you will consider me a part of your support circle. I am cheering you on and I would love to help in any way that I can. Please reach out to me with questions, heartaches, etc. For any of us taking on the difficult and rewarding work of adoption, support is essential.
Why I created Sibling Fusion
I have noticed that information regarding adoption, especially international adoption, is scarce. The shared learning I am referring to is not just the advice we might find helpful on the “how to”s, but also the stories of those who have walked this path before us. I am walking this path now; I am a different person because of it, and I want to tell my story as well as the story of my beautiful children. I believe that our family will meet the cost, meet the delays, meet the trauma, meet the language barriers, meet the racism, meet the skepticism, meet the distress, meet the disadvantages, meet the need for a 10 passenger van, meet the exhaustion–in short meet every challenge thrown at us–with patience, wisdom, learning and tenacity, and we will build a family that thrives in love. I will fight for that–day in and day out–until it is ours to hold.
Thanks for reading! If you ever need a hand or have any questions, please feel free to leave a comment below and I will be more than happy to help! Whether you are navigating the work/home balance, combining families, adding a new baby, welcoming children through adoption like we are, or simply trying to slay it as a parent (you got this!!), I believe in you and want to support your family’s happiness.
Also as a side note: food is really expensive and we will soon have nine mouths to feed so it’s time to go full boss-mom mode. I am working with Wealthy Affiliate to build this website and receive expert training. It’s been a fun ride!
May your family bond be unbreakable,
Jessica
Email: jessica@siblingfusion.com
Children are a blessing but can be a challenge sometimes, especially when they start to walk taking those little steps. I have had my days of child raring but they are all grown up. For me and my wife, there was also a time of learning them and being patience which helped us to be better parents. Thanks so much for sharing this most helpful post that will help lots of parents.
Thank you for taking the time to comment Norman! I agree wholeheartedly with you that though children can be challenging–especially as they change and push new limits–they are a blessing. My husband and I have also had to develop a lot of patience and growth, and we are grateful for the journey and how it’s shaped us. I can tell from your words that you are kind-hearted; I am sure your grown children still find comfort in you!